And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
