she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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