I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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