But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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