Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The maid of honor just puked.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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