Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
