Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
