When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize