GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
