I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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