I wannas sexs uuuuu
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
