It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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