I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
