the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
