remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
