Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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