we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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