Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
