Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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