It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
