So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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