I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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