You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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