I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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