I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize