I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I supernannyed him into submission
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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