I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
