why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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