there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
