it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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