I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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