I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
