We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My bed smells like the plague
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