Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
