You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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