NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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