Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
