That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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