Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
