Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
