Sponge bath it is.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
