bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
