Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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