Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
