I feel great
I just peed on a car
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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