walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
