omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize