Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
