you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
