Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
