We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
