i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
