He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
