hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
