I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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