I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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