tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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