I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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