me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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